Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
there was no way i was passing up a ruffle front button down top. with roosters all over it.
i'm sure no one else owns a top like this. well. other than the kagillion people who shop at target. but still. i'm probably the only one who actually wears it.
so. if you're walking down the street and you see this top. shout out a "rock-a-doodle-doo" and give me a high five (after sanitizing your hand). because it's probably me. unless a man is wearing it. in that case, it's not me.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
happy valentine's day to her.
happy valentine's day to me.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
tot: wha's dat, momma?
tot: i try?
me: *butter knifes a slice for tot*
tot: *puts slice in mouth and chews*
me: *nods as though there's some hip-hop song on in the background*
tot: momma! this tastes like meat.
me: sure does.
tot: it's meat, momma?
me: no. it's spam.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
now get your mind out of the gutter. because we're going into the kitchen. my kitchen. where i cook. sometimes. and if the sometimes involves raw meat, my gloves go on.
my reasons for wearing gloves are simple. with gloves, i don't feel the greasy slimy dead cow, pig, chicken, etc animal meat slip in my palms. and. i don't have to wash my hands for 25 minutes after touching the meat. i can cut out a whole minute and wash for just 24 minutes instead.
but the best reason as to why i wear gloves is this. after i burn the meal and ruin dinner, there are no finger prints. this reason especially comes in handy if there's food poisoning. which, by the way, i've never caused. at least, there's no evidence to prove it.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
but before that. i truly believe. they'll construct a hsm ride. a bumpy indoors semi roller coaster ride featuring all the ups and downs of high school.
there will be a car shaped mobile with the words "student driver" pasted on the front. there will be rooms filled with laughter to represent the "i like you" times. and then there will be rooms filled with laughter to represent the "i don't like you" times. yes. whether with you or at you, laughter is constant.
there will also be a room filled with mirrors. and as you pass each mirror, an enlarged red pimple will appear. much like the ghosts in the haunted mansion. except. much worse.
and as the ride draws to its end, you'll remind yourself that you have not watched any of the hsm movies - or if you have, that you didn't like any of them. but you'll walk away loving the entire soundtrack. and because of that, you'll hate yourself. just like you did when you were in high school.
and that's why this ride will be the best ever. because self-loathing goes best with karaoke. which you'll take up. just to prove that you can out-sing troy and gabriella.