how to make a layered fondant cake for the first time. this is not a real tutorial. but it could be if you used your imagination.

i've never made a layered cake before. nor have i worked with fondant. and last night, my hubby had a late meeting. expected arrival time home - 10:00pm. so obviously, last night seemed the perfect opportunity to tackle my baking urges. and i did just that. in between my girls' crying and screaming, i made a cake. also. i cried and screamed a little bit, too. it just seemed appropriate at the time.

what follows next is an account of my experience. written in tutorial formation. feel free to use it as a rough guide. also. that's what he said.

step one. gather your stuff. seeing's how i didn't have the right tools for cake baking or fondant rolling, i went out and purchased a couple items. add in my ocd and... voila. almost everything is the same brand. and/or color coordinated.

what you see here is:
- 20in fondant rolling pin (with rings.)
- roll and cut mat
- 13in angled spatula
- fondant smoother
- cake leveler
- pack of 10in cake circles
- 5lb package of rolled fondant

what you don't see in the picture is:
- two 9in cake pans
- boxed cake mix (follow directions on box. or wing it. whatever. i'm not your momma.)
- stuff to make buttercream icing (see actual recipe below.)
- food coloring
- cookie cutters
- paint brush

do you need all this stuff? psh. i have no idea. but i used it all. well. all except the cake leveler. that thing did not want to work for me. so i used my 8in calphalon bread knife instead. the ability to improvise is what makes me so awesome. also. i'm aware that a bread knife is what people usually use. but just let me soak in the moment.

step two. make your cakes.

step three. select a cake for your lower level. this cake should be the strongest. because it has to hold so much weight. usually, the strongest cake is either cake. because they're both the same. level out your lower cake. eat the crumbs.

step four. make your icing. i like buttercream icing.

the recipe i use is:
- 1 pkg (16oz) powdered sugar
- 1/2 c (1 stick) softened butter
- 3 tbs milk
- 2 tsp vanilla extract

combine all items and mix well. i usually add in a little extra vanilla. like. a gallon. that stuff is good. it burns going down. but only if you drink it straight. i don't recommend you do that. unless you're me.

step five. ice your cake in between and all over. i covered my cake circle with foil. and then added a dollop of icing in the middle before placing my lower level cake on it. that prevented the cake from moving. don't use mod podge. or any glue. let's just say (for argument's sake) that glue is inedible.

step six. sprinkle your mat with powdered sugar. resist the urge to pile the sugar into evenly split lines.

step seven. measure your cake to determine the amount of fondant needed. there is no picture for this step. so stop refreshing. measure the height. double it. add that number to the top diameter of the cake. then. add two. that gives you the diameter needed for your rolled fondant. knead your fondant well. then roll out your fondant, lifting it as you roll. (my cake was 3in high. diameter was 9in. add 2in. total is 17in. so, i rolled my fondant out to a diameter of 17in - with about 1/4" thickness.)

your arms will ache. and you'll start to doubt the whole process. but that will pass once you get the fondant rolled out. and. the next time you wear a strapless dress, your arms will thank you. that statement does not apply to men.

step eight. lift the fondant with the rolling pin and in one quick graceful move, plop it on to the cake. smooth it out using the (i bet you can't guess it) fondant smoother. if you have any air bubbles, you can take a pin and at an angled position, poke them out.

step nine. trim the excess fondant at the bottom of the cake. i used my handy dandy chicago cutlery partoku knife. also. this part was not easy. nor was it pretty.

step ten. prepare your decorative fondant. grab some excess fondant and add some coloring. knead it well. i suggest using gloves. and lots of powdered sugar. then roll it out.

step eleven. cut out your fondant shapes.

step twelve. decorate your cake. brush a light coat of water onto the back of your fondant shapes and adhere them to your cake. use some sort of system to do this. mainly because the whole "being random" thing doesn't always work. i'm browning ground beef for my spaghetti sauce as i write this post. see?

step thirteen. do something about the crooked bottom. roll a line of fondant and adhere it to the bottom of the cake to cover up the ugly. or use icing. or flowers. or anything. because the jagged bottom edges just keep mocking you. taking another swig of vanilla extract at this point is acceptable.

step fourteen. step back and admire your cake. remember to take lots of pictures because if this is your first layered fondant cake (like it was mine), it might just very well be your last, too.

and that's it. pretty simple, huh? thanks for reading my "just enough information to get you through it (maybe)" semi-tutorial post.

ps. special thanks to my friends kimmy kim kim and tristan for their tips, support and encouragement through this process. you both make excellent assistants. to the manager.

contrary to popular belief, my dining room table centerpiece is not a suckling pig hugging a can of spam.

there's a lot of history here. time stands still. beauty portrayed in simplistic design. that's what i tell folks about my centerpiece. but when i'm asked to elaborate on the details of each piece, i just shrug. because dude. i don't know anything. all i know is i will drop kick anyone who tries to touch it.

except for chuck norris. it'd take a couple head-butts to knock him out.

this post was brought to you by leigh of "leigh vs. laundry" and her "happiness project". if you wanna play along, all you have to do is post a picture of something that makes you happy. then. you can add your name to her "mr. linky" thingie. check out what makes her happy.

les petits enfants et leurs aliments français sophistiqués. i hope the online translator really works. also. i don't remember what that means.

it's muffin tin monday. today's theme is "color series - blue".

my friend and her family (including her two older boys who are pretty close to my girls) recently moved. far away. really really far. like. 35 minutes away. i know, right? she might as well have moved to france (which, by the way, is what i've been calling the area where she lives because again, it's so so far). nevertheless, we visited her and the boys today for a play date.

i offered to provide muffin tin lunches. and because of their locale, lunch obviously had to be french cuisine. sort of. i mean. all the foods can be found in france. so i figure that counts.

the kids had blue candy. blueberries. yogurt with blue sprinkles. organic blue corn chips. and chicken cordon bleu - deconstructed. which is basically chicken nuggets, string cheese, and rolled ham. i know. you're struck frozen by my awesomeness. i should have totally warned you to prepare yourself.

we all had a great time hanging out. and li'l tot even picked up some french. she kept saying oui oui! of course, i realized when she stepped into the bathroom that she really was saying wee wee. eh. potatoes, potahtoes, pommes de terre.

wanna check out more muffin tin meals? no need to drive 35 minutes away. heck. no need to drive anywhere at all. just click on the link and you'll be magically transported. yeah. just like on star trek. except. you probably won't disintegrate.

sunday snippets.

random snippets from the past week. because life happens. i know. i live it.

---

me: wanna run with me?
hubby: how far is it?
me: 5k.
hubby: how far is that?

me: 3.1 miles.

hubby: *raises eyebrows.*
me: what? that's like the littlest race there is.
hubby: where is it?
me: over the causeway.
hubby: *raises eyebrows. flares nostrils.*
me: you know. why don't you just stay home with the kids.
hubby: *nods head.*

---

me: do you want more liver cheese?
li'l tot: gimme the fat part, momma. i'm gonna exercise tonight.

---

hubby: it takes a lot to kill you.
me: what does that mean?
hubby. *laughs.* i said that on purpose. is that a snippet?
me: you say things on purpose just to get into snippets!

hubby. it's fun.
---

the end. have a great week!

an apple a day, keeps the doctor away. does that include psychiatrists? i'll take the whole fruit basket just in case. the garage sale chronicles.

these are my garage sale chronicles. sometimes i talk about rules. sometimes i talk about finds. but mostly i'm just interested in looking inside people's garages.

today: seventeen dollars is less than my copay.

i'm all about the bargains. like. i'm all about the beautiful teal enamel colander i bought for a quarter. and i'm all about the dainty deviled egg dish i found for fifty cents. and no doubt, i'm all about the aged shoe valet (with attached foot pedal) i snatched up for two and a quarter.

but yesterday, i was all about the fruit. plastic and fabric. i spent the most money i've ever spent on a single item. and it was totally worth every dollar. also. i haven't completely lost my mind. i was able to bring it down to seventeen from twenty.

plus. it's not perishable. unlike the rotten shredded coconut and melted chocolate that one lady tried to sell me for nine bucks. also. that experience left me germ-x-ing my hands twice.

(li'l tot took my picture. she did such a good job. i didn't even think she could hold the camera what with it being bigger than her head.)

that ain't no train comin'.

chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga. nnnnnrrrrrr. bomp. chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga. bomp bomp bomp. chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga. bomp bomp bomp. chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga chuga. bomp bomp bommmmmm.

hey. look over there! *sucker punch.*

this post is brought to you in cooperation with "get your freak on friday" hosted by tristan over at "the transient pod". if you wanna play, all you have to do is post a song that gets you jivin'. and then add your link on tristan's blog. go ahead. knock yourself out.

when has winning ever been uncool? never. that's when.

i made the front page of etsy.

don't go look now. it's over. i only get like fifteen minutes of fame there. or maybe thirty.

good thing my imaginary fame lasts much longer. pretty much like forever.

also. my 15th giveaway (sponsored by the ever so generous csn stores - thank you!) ended last night. if you didn't play, you're not gonna win. sorry about that. but you can still congratulate the winner who just so happens to be...

can't read it? lemme help you. it's says a. wolfe. as in. hungry like the wolf. as in. she wrote "i'm looking forward to winning the beautiful knife and cutting board." seriously. if she says "i'm looking forward to knocking you out", you should run. because this girl can predict better than dionne warwick. congrats, a!

if you played but didn't win, don't worry. i bet you win next time!

rick & bubba's big honkin' book of grub. by rick & bubba (obviously). a review by me.

no matter what it sounds like, rick & bubba's big honkin' book of grub is not a cookbook. it's more a collection of personal preferences and "rules". like. possibly butter counting as a vegetable.

there's a bit of humor mixed in with sarcasm. and then there's five pages discussing spam. so with that, you'd think this book was perfect for me. alas. no.

the print is large and easy to read. and the chapters are relevant to the book's own style. the substance, however, is lacking. there's a lot of talk. blah blah blah i like food blah blah blah eat now crunch crunch. the thing is. the authors are radio personalities. and actually, if they read their book on air, it'd do much better. because on print, it's a fail.

there are 23 recipes included in this book. i wish there had been 203. mainly because the book is 206 pages long. please note i have not yet tried out any of the recipes. so the review excludes taste. sort of.

great guys. the book, not so much.

ps. i received this complimentary book from thomas nelson publishers - specifically for review. i did not receive anything else - monetary or otherwise. i was not required to write a positive review. and. this lovely post you just read is comprised of my own personal opinions. i say what i want, yo.

i have to be careful not to pick the eyes out.

this is my wallet. i stuffed a bunch of quarters in it so that it'd look full. now it's really heavy. but it's still pretty. except for the dried gravy crust on the side. that part is just delicious.

also. i know you're desperately looking for the gravy. it's on the green strip. all the way to the side. right above the owl.

this post was brought to you by leigh of "leigh vs. laundry" and her "happiness project". if you wanna play along, all you have to do is post a picture of something that makes you happy. then. you can add your name to her "mr. linky" thingie. check out what makes her happy.

the kids are drumming in the background. wait. now one is crying. ah. the sounds of spring.

it's muffin tin monday. there was no theme today. so of course, i was lost. i asked my ever so reliable friend kimmy kim kim what i should do. and she suggested spring. what a great idea. of course, probably i should have asked her what spring foods are because i have no idea.

we've got a flower corn bread muffin, eggs with soy sauce, danimals yogurt drink, and a mix of cheerios.

i buy four boxes of cheerios at a time and i mix them all together. what you see is multi-grain, chocolate, banana nut, and honey nut. but you probably don't care about that. you're still stuck on the whole "eggs with soy sauce" part.

what can i say? we're asian. soy sauce goes on a lot of foods. but i do draw the line when it comes to certain items like when li'l tot asked for "pancakes and soy sauce" this morning. waffles, yes. but pancakes? no way. also. i jest about the waffles thing.

let's see if any muffin tin moms had a breakfast similar to mine. meaning. moms who used ketchup on their foods. after all. soy sauce is the asian man's ketchup. soy sauce as the asian man's syrup is still pending.

ps. have a go at my giveaway! everyone can use a knife and cutting board!

sunday snippets.

random snippets from the past week. because life happens. i know. i live it.

---

me: you wanna watch celtic women?
hubby: here. i'll show you celtic man. *does a riverdance jig.*
me: great. go get me the recorder so i can record you.
hubby: i don't think so.

---

me: *swerves the car.*
li'l tot: what happened momma?
me: i saw a garage sale sign.
li'l tot: well go get it!

---

hubby: stop touching my axillary!

---

the end. have a great week!

chez brocante. the garage sale chronicles.

these are my garage sale chronicles. sometimes i talk about rules. sometimes i talk about finds. but mostly i'm just interested in looking inside people's garages.

today: how much for chopped onions?

you know how sometimes you'll walk up to a garage sale and there'll be a little kid there waiting with a cooler full of bottled water? well i do. and once in a while, i'll buy a bottle. because the kid will look so desperate to make money just so he can buy back the g.i. joe doll his mom put up for sale.

well lately, there's been a new trend. hot dogs. um. yeah i'm serious. dude. you can tell me they're all beef, plump and kosher. but it still won't matter. i ain't buyin' my lunch from you. i'll make an offer on the tongs you're using and that's as far as it's gonna go.

house one today: sold out of 62 hot dogs.
house two today: had 12 hot dogs left. offering free chips.
house three today: selling chewing gum samples. in a ziploc bag. they probably heard about the toppings being offered at house one and two.

i need to find a fake badge and walk around with tickets claiming to be the health inspector. also. i'd probably take a hot dog for free as a bribe.

(pictured is a few pieces from a thirty-one piece set of melissa & doug play foods. the only type of food i'll buy at a garage sale. one dollar.)

ps. have you entered my giveaway? cut real food with a partoku.

if somebody calls me young grasshopper one more time...

so. kung fu. krumping. is there really a difference? not when you're in a music video with a fat panda bear. man. i love this song. and yeah. i'm a little bit jealous that i can't dance like those kids.

this post is brought to you in cooperation with "get your freak on friday" hosted by tristan over at "the transient pod".

ps. did you enter my giveaway yet?

they're given to me. i don't ask for them. i mean. sometimes i do. but not this time.

it's time for another awards post. but this time, i'm doing something a little bit different. see. i got to thinking. awards are no small potatoes. so. what i've got right next to me is the finest drink available in this house. which means i'm sipping on "welch's sparkling red grape juice cocktail (non-alcoholic)". watered down. in a plastic cup. can't fake this sort of classiness. cheers.

first up. the "sunshine award". you're about to be blinded because this award was given to me by not one - but two - bloggers. word. apparently, i'm the sunshine of vanessa's (much more than mommy) blogging life. and. according to leanne (my home and my hips are both double wide), i'm a strange bird that gets a little scary when armed. or something like that. idk. that's the version i like.

i now pass this award on to:

- the husailey bunch - because it's like watching the brady bunch all over. only. better and not corny.

- olive street studio - because she needed a little extra sunshine this week.

the next award i received is from kayli of beauty from ashes. it's the "beautiful blogger" award. with this award, i'm supposed to state seven things about myself. but there were no specifics on the seven things. so.

1. my name is winn.
2. i like to rap.
3. i like to eat cheese.
4. but it makes me cra-cra-cra (fade out).
5. sometimes i wish i were a song writer.
6. i definitely shouldn't write cards for hallmark.
7. i'm still drinking my sparkling red grape juice cocktail non-alcoholic.

i now pass this award on to:
- the empty nest - because. well. just go see the aprons she's made.
- jenny matlock - because she's beautiful. and she'll always be so. even if she runs into her husband's ex.

i also received the "you make the camera dance" blog award. bestowed upon me by kimmy kim kim of a parent's life to behold, through the eyes of insanity and bliss. she said that i dazzle my readers and that my posts come to life. then she mentioned something about me setting trends and break trends and running for president. of her fan club.

i now pass this award on to:
- the transient pod - because she asked me to dance. and i declined. so. this is as good as it gets.
- my home and my hips are both doublewide - because from the sound of her blog title, i'm betting she can shake it.

- mommy's heart - because i've seen her do the running man.

ok. this is where things get a little tricky. well. more like tricked out. because i made my own award. it's the "i'd follow you even if i were lost" award. this one goes out denise of teddy started it. she made me an award once. (it's mine and i'm not sharing.) and i thought it'd be fun to make her one. i know she's a fan of lost. but the thing is. i've never seen the show. and she mentioned that she found one of the actors to be deliciously hawt quite talented. i hope it's this guy. because he's the one i put on the award.

thank you my friends. i am honored and humbled. and obviously, awesome.

and now that all the awards have been mentioned, i have one more item on my list to take care of. i was tagged. not as in morgue toe. but as in list some stuff. christy from princess christy wants me to list ten things that make me happy. and here they are (in no particular order).

1. me.
2. you.
3. me and you.
4. dwight schrute.
5. not pam.
6. running.
7. not running.
8. food.
9. more food.
10. my family.

and that's a wrap. if you were given an award, please collect it by clicking on it. this will open a new page allowing you to take your award. if you were not given an award, your time will come. unless i don't receive anymore to give out. peace.

bamboo and partoku. what did you just call me? don't make me cut you. let's review. aka giveaway 15.

THIS GIVEAWAY IS OVER.
THIS GIVEAWAY IS OVER.
THIS GIVEAWAY IS OVER.

sometimes just having a fancy cutting board and a sleek shiny knife is all it takes to make you feel secure in the kitchen because (1) you have the tools needed to prepare a gourmet meal and (2) you have the tools needed to seriously injure an intruder. it's a win-win situation. (much like overfilled bar stools at your 20th high school reunion.)

i was thrilled when cookware.com (a csn store) provided me with a chance to do a review on an item of my choice. so obviously. i chose a knife. and it just seemed fitting to request a cutting board, too.

selecting the cutting board was easy. i wanted something slim. compact. and of course, pretty. the chicago cutlery bamboo cutting board looked like it would do the job.

selecting the knife was a bit more complicated. my current knife of choice is a seven inch santoku. but i figured a big ol' knife with a petite cutting board would look a bit aggressive. so i went with the chicago cutlery (almost) five inch partoku. (don't bless me. that wasn't a sneeze.)

once the items were ordered, cookware.com sent me an immediate confirmation. then. when my items were shipped, they sent me an email notification with tracking number - which i clicked several times a day. i know this doesn't make the shipment go faster. it's just that i have ocd.

when my package arrived (that's what she said), i was anxious to give my knife and cutting board a whirl. the board was sturdy and held place. the knife was sharp, as it should be, and sliced my bell peppers quite smoothly. so basically, the knife and cutting board did what they were supposed to do. and nicely.

i would recommend the cutting board for fruits and/or veggies only. or cheese if you're daring. but not for meats. and only because of its small size. it'd make a great serving platter at parties, too. i would recommend the knife for all types of foods. i love that it's a cross between a paring knife and a santoku knife.

both items are "hand wash recommended". but i dropped them in the dishwasher, anyway. because i'm a rebel. the cutting board handled it just fine. the knife, however, ended up with a smidgen "rusty" stain. i wiped it off and promised it that i'd only hand wash it from then on. i think it scoffed at me. i'll use it the next time i cut onions. that'll teach it.

all in all. i'm pleased with both items. you'd probably be pleased, too. in fact. you wanna try them out? because you can. if you win my giveaway. woot woot. that's right. one lucky reader will receive the same knife and cutting board from the ever so generous cookware.com.

this giveaway is only open to the usa and canada. sorry. no overseas entries. your exotic location is just too much for me to handle thereby making you ineligible. i still like you so much.

if you do live in the usa or canada, all you have to do to be entered is:

1. check out this awesome list of csn's 200+ stores and let me know which store interests you the most. (and while you're on csn's site, have a look around!) this is the only mandatory step. and it gives you one entry.
2. if you blog about this giveaway, leave a separate comment with the blog link. your blog post must link back to this giveaway post. once the post is verified, you'll have one more entry. this step is optional and can only be completed once.
3. if you twitter about this giveaway, leave a separate comment with the twittered link. your tweet must link back to this giveaway post. and it should also include my twitter username "@wendiwinn". once the tweet is verified, you'll have one more entry. this step is optional and can only be completed once. (if you don't have twitter - and if you're my friend on facebook - i'll accept this entry as a link on your wall. )
   
4. leave a safe way for me to contact you. if i can't contact you, you can't win.
   

so go ahead and play. win this quality set from cookware.com and on wednesday, march 24, 2010 at 11:03pm est, i will use the random number generator to select the winner. giveaway winner must reply to my contact within two days. otherwise, i will visit the random number generator again.

and now for the fine print. it's more small print than fine. contest starts as soon as this is posted. it ends at 11:02pm on wednesday, march 24, 2010 est. one entry per person - unless you participate in the optional additional steps. in that case, you'll get a maximum of three entries. if you do not follow the rules, i may still publish your comment (but not until the giveaway is over). it just won't count as an entry. psh, i'm tough. chances of winning depend on the number of entries. raise your chances of winning by not telling anyone. lower your chances by telling everyone you know. this contest is open to you - whether i know you or not. this is my 15th giveaway. if i have a positive response, i'll have more giveaways to bring you back. if i don't have a positive response, i'll still have more giveaways to bring you back. by entering this giveaway, you agree to abide by the rules i've stated or not stated. and i can change the rules whenever i please. it's a woman's prerogative. this is a review in conjunction with a giveaway. i received the mentioned items complimentary and specifically for review. i did not receive anything else - monetary or otherwise. i was not required to write a positive review. this lovely post you just read is comprised of my own personal opinions. i say what i want, yo. and please note. when i was little, i wanted to run away and join the circus. i wanted to be the knife throwing person. there's nothing unhealthy about that no matter what your therapist says. allegedly.

sometimes i put one on each finger and pretend i have robot hands.

they're from all over the world.

and they're in mason jars because i'm not eighty-seven. but when i do become that womanly age, you can bet my thimbles will be displayed properly. most likely because i'll need the jars to store my dentures.

this post was brought to you by leigh of "leigh vs. laundry" and her "happiness project". if you wanna play along, all you have to do is post a picture of something that makes you happy. then. you can add your name to her "mr. linky" thing. check out what makes her happy. i hope it's me.

the green almost flew off my food.

it's muffin tin monday. today's theme is "color series - green or st. patty's".

it was such a beautiful day today from what i could tell by looking out my window. so i thought it'd be nice to have a picnic. in the grass. i mean. might as well go as far as the green theme can take me. and when i went outside to set up, i thought the wind was gonna take me past green and all the way to blue. which is the muffin tin monday theme two weeks from now. apparently, wind is invisible.

still. i pressed on with our picnic. a couple of fifteen pound pavers kept the blanket from flying away. too bad i can't say the same about my hair. no. i don't wear a wig. you totally know what i mean. the wind had my hair all bapooossshhhhhhh. <--- fancy sound effect while waving arms above my head.

we've got strawberry yogurt with green sprinkles. green pasta with spam bits. green peanut butter m&ms. edamame. and clover sandwiches with green cream cheese.

the girls had fun and ate most of their lunch. and i learned a few things. one - my irish accent rocks. listen to this. top o' the mornin' to yeh! see? pretty good, huh? and two - muffin tin liners fly away when it's windy.

kermit always said "it's not that easy bein' green". wonder what all the other muffin tin moms think about that.

sunday snippets.

random snippets from the past week. because life happens. i know. i live it.

---

li'l tot: mommy. i wanna go on a cruise.
me: girl. we don't have that kind of money.
li'l tot: oh man. you gotta be kidding me.

---

me: it's 9:40?
hubby: no no. when the time changes it will be 9:40.
me: oh. ok. well. we're gonna go home.
carriefriend: yay!

---

me: oh man. you do love me.
hubby: no. i just have calluses on my hands. oh. and i love you.

---

me: why don't you?
hubby: you're the cleaning person.

---

the end. have a great week!

sometimes you have to work for what you want. or what you might want. the garage sale chronicles.

these are my garage sale chronicles. sometimes i talk about rules. sometimes i talk about finds. but mostly i'm just interested in looking inside people's garages.

today: did you just say employee discount?

the first garage sale i went to this morning was packed. literally. the yard was filled with items. but still. the homeowners had all these huge boxes in their garage and they just kept bringing more out. they didn't even have time to display the items in the boxes. mainly because old women would just stop them and push them out of the way to look inside the boxes.

not me though. i didn't push anyone. instead. i just grabbed a box on my own and took it to an empty table near the garage. and after i opened it, i proceeded to throw tissue paper on the floor while unwrapping each item. and then i laid the items carefully out on the table. i'm nice. i know. but really. i don't have the patience to wait until everything is taken out for me. i mean. i've got to hit my quota of twenty-five houses. time is precious, folks. plus. i wanted to see if i could find any little treasures before anyone else.

and i did. i found a beautiful covered square vegetable serving bowl. plus a couple muffin tins. and a tea saucer. and an over-sized shoe box filled with ribbons.

and all for fifty cents. yes. all of it. fifty cents. word.

i told the man. i was like. "look. i just unpacked that box over there and laid everything on the table nice and neat for you. so. how much for all this?" and he was like. "fi-fi-fifty cents?".

uh huh. there's hesitation with a question mark there. because the man wasn't sure. and he was flustered. i mean. not only was he in the midst of carrying heavy boxes and unpacking, he was also in a sea of cut-throat competition. he'll probably get in trouble later. it's a shame because he was really nice.

also. i think i may have seen a lady fall into one of the three foot high boxes. it's a shame for her, too, because she might get bought for a buck.

bow chicka wow wow. with a little gitchee gitchee, too

stop. i can hear you making obscene synthesizer sounds. and this ain't that kind of blog. it's this kind:

man. this is totally my favorite feel good song. not to be confused with my good feel song. which is the other bow chicka wow wow. sometimes, when i'm at the dinner table, i'll just stand up and start singing it. and dancing. and then my girls will join me. my hubby just stares at his plate and wishes i hadn't overcooked the meal.

this post is brought to you in cooperation with "get your freak on friday" hosted by tristan over at "the transient pod". that sounded so official.

the story of easter by gwen ellis. illustrated by steve smallman. review by me.

so i just finished reading the story of easter to my girls. well. girl. baby ran away mid book to play with dolls. but li'l tot was pretty much set on listening to the entire book. mainly because every time i turned the page, she was like "hey! that's in my bible!". i think she enjoyed the familiarity of the book. or. maybe she was trying to find something that wasn't in her bible. not gonna happen. because this book follows the word. word.

the set up of the book is great. easy to read. big "chapter" titles, followed by verse references. the illustrations are relevant and appropriately focus on each chapter's story. great for my four year old and probably great for your ten year old, too.

in the back of the book, there is a "can you retell the story" section filled with scrambled pictures. li'l tot was able to point out pictures in the correct sequence and tell me what each picture represented. man. it was a proud moment. of course, that was immediately after we finished reading. who knows what will happen two hours from now. probably she'll ask me to read the book again.

this book also comes with a dvd. oh yeah, bo-nus! it's a short 18 minute movie that includes "six stories from the life of jesus". and thanks to the dvd, i was able to write up most of this review in semi-peace. i'm gonna go ahead and shout out an amen to that.

i enjoyed this book. but that's not important. what's important is li'l tot enjoyed it. and you can tell because its current resting place is in her play kitchen sink. that's a good thing. actually. i wonder if it could have anything to do with the chapter on "the first lord's supper". i mean. li'l tot does insist on serving bread in her restaurant.

ps. i received this complimentary book from thomas nelson publishers - specifically for review. i did not receive anything else - monetary or otherwise. i was not required to write a positive review. and. this lovely post you just read is comprised of my own personal opinions. i say what i want, yo.

i saw a lady spit and my arm touched a portable potty. being a princess is tough.

so this past saturday, i ran in disney's royal family 5k (part of the princess half marathon weekend). and i was awesome. so awesome, in fact, that i tore up my knee. i know! just like a professional athlete!

i don't care though. because i finished. and according to my gps watch, it took me 36:02 to run the race. but. it also took me like two minutes to weave through everyone. plus. my knee hurt. so. if my calculations are correct, i could've finished in like six minutes. give or take thirty minutes.

lemme tell you. i had a blast. probably because i had such good friends to run with. i mean, dude. we had tutus and feathers. we were rockin' it. people were coming up to us and asking us if they could take our picture! like we were famous! or. maybe they were doing it so they could blog about "those foolish girls with chickens on their heads". doesn't matter. you know why? because anything before six am doesn't matter. that's why.

too bad anything after eight am does matter. because after the race, that's when my right shoulder touched a portable potty. i thought it was a wall. but apparently, walls don't move. or leak. my friend (nessa) saved me from completely leaning against it. unfortunately, she couldn't save me from gagging.

speaking of which. i saw a lady spit her water out. it was way gross. this happened during the race. in canada, actually. eh? oh yeah. we ran through epcot. so basically, it took me about twelve minutes to run around the world. psh, 80 days my foot.

next year, i'm doing the half marathon. i wonder what joey fatone will do. oh. did i forget to mention he was there? maybe it's because i didn't see him. but some of my friends did - as they were passing him up.

i'm not sure why birds don't like me. i like them just fine.

my peacock feather headband rests gently on my bathroom vanity. it makes me happy.

it reminds me of the time when this one peacock tried to attack me. and another time when a huge swan tried to attack me. and when an angry goose tried to attack me. and also when that other angry goose tried to attack me. but also when i ate turkey for thanksgiving.

this post was brought to you by leigh of "leigh vs. laundry" and her "happiness project". if you wanna play along, all you have to do is post a picture of something that makes you happy. then. you can add your name to her "mr. linky" thing. check out what makes her happy. and while you're there, let her know i make you happy.

probably yellow snow is the main thing i'd stay away from.

it's muffin tin monday. today's theme is "color series - yellow".

it's sunny outside. and it's sunny inside. and just as i typed that out, i remembered what i had originally wanted to do for today's mtm. i wanted to do scrambled eggs. man. i totally forgot about those. eh. who needs them anyway. plus. they require cooking.

so we've got fresh pineapple with a dash of salt, bugles, yellow peanut butter m&m's, and vanilla yogurt with yellow sprinkles. while the girls snacked, i read "mouse paint" by ellen stoll walsh and "blue hat, green hat" by sandra boynton. twice. and every time i said the word "yellow", li'l tot would scream out "yellow!" and baby would scream out "ayayaya!". twice.

need a little more sunshine? head on over to muffin tin mom for a few extra doses. tell her i sent you.

sunday snippets.

random snippets from the past week. because life happens. i know. i live it.

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li'l tot: i want just the shrimp without the popcorn on it. see? i'm taking off the skin.

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li'l tot: say "ewwwwwwwww", (baby). say "ewwwwwww".
baby: ewwwwwwwww.

---

the end. have a great week!

walking is good for your health. unless you get run over. the garage sale chronicles.

these are my garage sale chronicles. sometimes i talk about rules. sometimes i talk about finds. but mostly i'm just interested in looking inside people's garages.

today: one step at a time.

sometimes there isn't room to park in front of the actual garage sale. there have been times that called for parking four to five houses down. and while i'd rather park close, i don't mind the distance. it's good conditioning for the legs. and. dodging the cars that are in a hurry to leave is great agility training.

also. wearing comfy shoes is a must. but when it comes to buying, comfy isn't all that important. especially when you're buying fancy dress up heels like the ones pictured (which are part of a set of six, practically new, and still in the box shoes that i got for only two dollars).

oh and one more thing. this post is a scheduled post. because right today, i'm running towards something that isn't in someone's driveway, yard, etc. i'm participating in disney's royal family 5k (part of the princess half marathon weekend). that's right. sometimes, you've got to give up a day of garage sales for your health. physical health, that is. because it's certainly a butt load of mental anguish just to think about all the fifty cent items i'm missing out on.

i'm doin' a lot of things like yeah.

i wonder if all bar stools limit your dance moves. or maybe it's just my collapsible one. because i can't seem to throw my hands up like miley unless i'm standing. but probably it's my arms flailing about that's throwing my balance off.

so it's "get your freak on friday" today (hosted by tristan of "the transient pod"). and she wants to know what kind of music gets my toes tapping. well. that'd be none. because i'm cold as ice. i have no emotions. but if i have to pick one, it'd be "party in the usa" by miley cyrus.

this song makes my neck dance. it also brings about a bit of self-loathing. but whatever. my favorite part (watch the video) is at 1:17 when she's like "rockin' kicks" and then she stomps down. don't judge me. i've judged myself enough. and. i like the laugh that happens at 3:17. i don't deny that she's probably mocking me. but hey. it's a wicked cool laugh.

also. i don't condone the artists miley names in her video. heck. i don't even condone miley. it's just this song. it's like. yeah.

i know this song is scary. i'm sorry. i'll make it up to you. in fact, come back in a couple weeks. i plan on throwing my own party in the usa. except. it won't be a party. it'll be a giveaway. wait for it.

you go, girl. and do it standing up proudly.

so sometimes i hold my pee. hey. don't lecture me. i know it's bad. but there are times when you just have to. like when you're driving something that isn't an rv. or when the only available bathroom is a portable potty at some outdoor carnival. or when you have to finish checking everyone's updated blog, etc.

but lemme tell you. kegel exercises can only get you so far. and seeing's how i'm not a spring chicken anymore, holding it in doesn't always work. especially when you have to sneeze. which is why my awesome friend dee sent me the "gogirl". oh man. just saying it makes me laugh (which has the same results as sneezing).

will i use it? maybe. or maybe i'll have li'l tot try it out first. either way. i love it. and who couldn't? after all, their tag line is "don't take life sitting down". word.

ps. dude. the "gogirl" gift also included a t-shirt and. wait for it. one of those tattoos that you wet (no pun intended) on the back. i am *so* saving that for a special occasion.

plastic charms that dangle from chafing strings make me happy.

these are two hand crafted necklaces made by li'l tot. the story is. one day while i was napping (yes. i nap. the whole "sleeping is for losers" is just for show.) li'l tot ran up to my face and was all... "mommy. i need gold string." that's all i remember.

when i woke up two hours later, i had a set of classy necklaces. each with their own meaningful charm cluster. let me tell you what each charm means. because you totally want to know.

1. yellow kissing charm. "because you kiss me, mommy."
2. red kissing charm. "because you kiss (baby)."
3. white pearls. "because you wear makeup."
4. yellow guard. "because you take me to the movies."
5. tan lizard. "because you scare them away."
6. brown briefcase. "because you pack my stuff."
7. wrench. "because you fix things."
8. cow. "because you take me to the zoo."
9. onesie. "because you put clothes on me and (baby)."
10. black ring. "because you wear makeup."

apparently, those are the things i'm good at. notice there's no "because you make good food" charm. also. i don't wear that much makeup.

this post was brought to you by leigh of "leigh vs. laundry" and her "happiness project". if you wanna play along, all you have to do is post a picture of something that makes you happy. then. you can add your name to her "mr. linky" thing - which is desperately needing attention. check out what makes leigh happy. (i'll give you a hint. it's a picture of me!)

oatmeal, toast, and prunes just aren't that pretty.

it's muffin tin monday. and today, we're themeless. which means. no planning needed. just stuff food in muffin tins and go. which is why i thought breakfast (oatmeal, toast hearts, sliced prunes) would be perfect. but after taking a look at the pics i took, i realized that this morning's breakfast was just plain ugly.

so take two. today's afternoon snack. now everyone knows the opposite of ugly is flowers. so while reading eric carle's "the tiny seed", my girls munched on strawberry yogurt with flower sprinkles, ham flower cuts, ritz crackers, and gummy candies. all in flower shaped muffin cups.

li'l tot finished her entire snack. baby only finished the yogurt. so that's a point for pretty. but wait. because as for breakfast, li'l tot finished that, too. while baby only finished the oatmeal. so a point also goes to ugly. which means pretty wins. what? pretty don't do math very well.

wanna see some more pretty muffin tin meals?