the bad news is: i ate cheese. the good news is: my tummy is fine. the bad news is: i don't think it was actually cheese.

our friends invited us out to dinner tonight. indian food. my first time. and i was pleasantly surprised. and you will be, too, as i recap tonight's menu.

1. we started out with crackers. they had little seeds in them. and karenfriend was like. guess. guess what the spice is. and i was like. um. i know. i know. basil? nope. and then there were some other guesses and donfriend was like. it has the same name as a diesel engine manufacturer. and i was like. oh. that clears it up. and then karenfriend was like. it starts with a "c". and my hubby was like. sesame seeds. and i was like. um. ceeeeeeeeeee. as in. ceeeeee, this is why you're a doctor and not an english teacher. and anyway. it was cumin.

2. the crackers came with "dips". and karenfriend was like. guess. guess what this one is. and i was like. um. cucumber? and donfriend was like. yep! endives. and then karenfriend was like. guess. guess what this other one is. and i was like. um. tamarind! and she was like. yes! and i was like. do indian restaurants have diet coke?

3. nan. aka naan. light and fluffy indian bread. check and check. also. we had to tell our children that it was like pizza bread so they would taste it.

4. vegetable dum biryani rice. veggies and dried nuts in basmati rice. this was my choice because honestly? it had the word "dum" in it. what do you want from me? simplicity and candor, right? well there you go.

5. chicken kourma. chicken in a mild cashew and almond creamy curry sauce. the children devoured this. so we had to order a second serving. these are the sacrifices parents make for their children. also. after baby's second chicken piece, i turned to find her with the plate straight up and down in front of her face as she attempted to lick the thing.

6. chicken tikka masala. chicken broiled and cooked in a creamy tomato sauce. oh. this was good. *savoring the moment.*

7. chicken phaal. chicken cooked in very hot anglo indian sauce laced with green chilies. dude. this one had four red peppers by its name. also. last week. when karenfriend and donfriend visited this restaurant for the first time, donfriend ordered this dish. but the server refused him. and said it was too spicy. we suspect it's because donfriend is white. <--- it's ok, we're so cool that being pc isn't much of an issue. idk.

anyhow. tonight. donfriend was like. let's order it. you guys are here. i bet they let us order it tonight. "you guys" means my family. we're as asian looking as they come. and see what i mean about the whole not worrying about being pc thing?

so karenfriend ordered it. and the server chuckled. and did an eyebrow lift thing. and when that dish came to the table, i was like. if there's anything we need to finish at this table, it's this.

i lost all feeling in my mouth for 20 minutes after taking a small sample of the stuff. karenfriend made asthmatic noises. and my hubby and donfriend were left to get the job done.

end result: we asked for a box for the leftovers. i bet the staff was in the kitchen laughing at us.

8. some kind of chicken. still on the bone. it was glazed in red. and it was good. and obvi, i have no idea what it was named.

9. chicken. yes, again! we like fowl! it was not on the bone. it was skewered. and please see the last line of #8.

10. lamb. there. are you happy? i can't tell you much about it. because i think i tasted this after the phaal. and please see the last line of #8.

11. two of the dishes included a soft and delicate garnish. we all tasted it. and karenfriend was like. guess! guess what it is! and i was like. um. hummus? and she was like. idk. because she didn't know. and neither did donfriend. but my hubby was like. they're mashed potatoes. and we all laughed at him. ceeeeeee here, mister. these are not mashed potatoes. so we called over the server.

they were mashed potatoes. oh snap. and then donfriend was like. oh. well. what are they seasoned with? and the server was like. butter. and donfriend was like. no no no. what is the spice you used? and the server was like. we put butter in the mashed potatoes and mix them. and then he made a face. this time, he moved the other eyebrow.

i bet the staff was in the kitchen laughing at us. again.

12. gulab jamun. and finally dessert has arrived. fried cheese balls soaked in cardamom flavored sugar syrup. no comment. other than. they were wet. and they were balls. but we all tried some. and baby. oh my baby baby. she asked for the bowl when the balls were all gone. so she could drink the syrup. of course, my hubby gave it to her. all the while, i was taking li'l tot to the bathroom.

and when i came out to see the goings on. i immediately thought. oh no! she likes it because it's got rum in it! but it didn't. i think.

my hubby and i decided we'd definitely come back. but idk how it'll taste with just our family. after all, friends make food taste better. unless the food is wet balls.