Saturday, June 4, 2011

what happens at a princess half-marathon hopefully always stays at a princess half-marathon.

a few months back, i finished my first half-marathon. (i told you i would.) and without going into a long and wordy recollection of it, i'm just going to list the highlights. also. it'll probably still be long and wordy.

1. woke up at 3:00am. sisters-in-law and i drove to epcot for disney's princess 1/2 marathon race. found my friends at 4:00am.

2. used a portable potty. in the dark. couldn't find the flushing thingie. apparently, there isn't one. squeezed out about a third of the provided hand sanitizer onto my hands. and arms. and maybe on my legs, too.

3. used a portable potty again. in the almost light. could see the result of not having a flushing thingie. and the urinal that is face height when you sit on the pot. panicked when nothing came out of the hand sanitizer machine. bolted out and used sister-in-law's hand sanitizer on my hands. and arms. and definitely on my legs, too.

4. started the race at 6:30am. nice and easy. i laughed. i smiled. i tried not to touch people.

5. knee blew out at 3 miles. seriously. no more laughing. or smiling. and i tried not to punch people.

6. limped.

7. coveted knee braces and strategized assaults on the women who wore them.

8. stood in line inside a men's restroom. next to a barefoot woman. and across from a man shaking like he was a vampire in a room filled with anemics. and to clarify. the man wasn't shaking because he was scared. he was shaking because he was, well... finished.

9. limped some more.

10. realized i had awesome friends because they refused to leave me behind. experienced internal conflict because i would have left them in the dust.

11. passed on-looking guests, one of which was a friend and her family. they held a nice big encouraging sign that said "go winn". i wanted to cry. but my robot chip prevents that. considered exchanging that chip in for a bionic knee. brushed that idea off my shoulder almost immediately. crying ain't pretty. and pretty is more important than running.

12. limped even more.

13. crossed the 13.1 mile finish line with my friends. got a shiny medal. and an ice pack for my knee. and held in my pee until i got back home.

next year, i'm doing it all over again. and i'm bringing a knee brace. and disposable gloves. five pairs. i'm hardcore.

11 honks (click here to horn in a comment):

Insanitykim said...

Man! I cannot wait for you to train for and run the Zombie 5killer! Of course, you better not be limping...they are fast, those zombies...and bring a blow torch. Pee in the woods.

I hate running. You are such a bass sass and hard core.

lynnda said...

dude. I *almost* made Winn cry. I should get an award for that. or at least win one of your giveaways. :P No sign holding next year, though - something about getting my own big shiny tiara medal. And next May you get to swim in the lake with me! :D

janet said...

You make me wish I liked running, just so I could leave you in the dust, while wearing a knee brace and carrying 1 quart of hand sanitizer


Janet xox

You are awesome!

janet said...

PS...I wouldn't really leave you in the dust....but I would covet the sanitizer, cuz that's how I roll

janet said...

PSS...Oh...OK, you can have some hand sanitizer!



Marisa Hopkins said...


Jayme said...

Wow congrats! I can't imagine running down the hallway of my house, let alone a half marathon!

Sarah Kate said...

Hahaha...isn't this how everyone's first half-marathon goes?? :o) At least you were at Disney - the happiest place on earth. What could possibly go wrong there? ;o) I'm about to attempt my second half and I'm hoping it's less eventful than my first. :o)

BTW - Following you now after MiMi at Living In France's shining recommendation. :o)

xoxo, Sarah Kate

Jenny said...

This is seriously impressive! Very cool!

My Life Under the Bus said...

Haha I would make you chase me to get the hand sanitizer....I'd go in all the potties and empty the hand sanitizer too! Just so you feel loved! Welcome back!

Laura @ The Things I Said I'd Never Do said...

Great job!! I cannot believe you did 10 miles with a cap knee. Nice friends too. I'm doing my first half in November and I'm already telling my running buddies that come race day, their on their own!

Also, my biggest fear about the race isn't the running 13.1 miles. it's the port-a-potties. Ugh!

See you at the Princess next year!

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